Life’s Challenges, if only they weren’t so abundant

17 11 2008

The following excepts have been copied from my LiveJournal, so I don’t have to go over everything again, for fear of losing all control over my emotions.


Why am I at University? This may seem like a plainly simple question to answer. You’re there to study. To get a degree so you can get a job using that degree after University. Therein lies the problem. I don’t want to be a Geologist when I come out of University. I want to be a writer, or an editor, or work in media in general. So why the hell am I doing Earth science with Geography at University?

After much discussion with my mother/sister/flatmate, I have found that where I first went wrong, so to speak, is when I sat down to choose which subjects at college. I went in with four subjects in mind that I wanted to take: Geology, Psychology, English Lit&Lang, and Film Studies. Whilst I was in there, instead of sticking with my gut instinct, I was unfortunately swayed by teachers to take subjects that I had managed to get good grades in, and ended up taking: Geology, Psychology, Chemistry, Biology and German. Needless to say my Mum was confused. She said “I went in with one person and came out with a completely different one.” She also said more recently that she wondered at the time whether she should have said something, pointed out that I’d originally intended to do other subjects which I had enjoyed, but she didn’t. Yet, she can’t be blamed for my choices. I’m the one who decided to take those subjects, and I don’t regret it.

The next point came when I had to choose to go to University. That was pretty much a given considering the way the college was geared up for sending people to University, and also my family background; my family have all been pretty bright, and have all gone on to University. It seemed natural to go on there, even though during my second year at college, I hit a mental brick wall with education, and I had begun to get fed up with it. I just thought this was because of psychology, chemistry and any other subjects that were giving me grief, making me stressed. I believed that going on to do just Earth Science with Geography would be good, I could get away from the subjects I didn’t like as much — don’t get me wrong here, I do like Psychology, very much, it’s very interesting, but the teacher I had in my second year was awful, I practically taught myself.

I’ve now been at University for seven weeks; I enjoy having my independence, I don’t feel remotely homesick, and I get on with all my flatmates. Unfortunately, I am totally unmotivated towards my work, more so with Geography than my Earth Science modules, all throughout the last Geography lecture I sat through I was thinking “shoot me now”.

My Mum said that this happened to her: you reach a point in education where the subject you’re taking isn’t easy any more, and if it isn’t easy, and you don’t want to work for it, then everything goes pear-shaped. That’s what happened to me, I don’t want to be doing Geology in ten years time, I want to be doing something else. So why should I work towards a goal I don’t want to achieve?

As I see it, I now have several options:

#1 – Suffer through this year of University, then next year when I’m choosing my modules, try and steer as far away from Geography as I possibly can. Parts of Earth Science still do interest me, I just don’t want to it as a job, and having a degree is almost necessary now, right? (Stupid government).

#2 – Although it is a little late to be doing this, drop Geography and take up another subject instead, preferably The Universe as an Art, which is essentially a course about the theory behind sci-fi (oh yeah!), but then I still have to continue with Earth Science (bear that in mind).

#3 – Drop out of University altogether…

This leads onto several more options:

#4 – …and take up a writing course that I can do in my own time, whilst also having a job.

#5 – …and work for a while, then reapply next to University to do some sort of Media course, whether it be a degree or a Foundation Course

#6 – …and try and find a media company that will take me on to do some form of internship (this is unlikely).

I know some of this might come as a shock to some of you, but it is evident to me that I need to do something about my situation; I have not been well ever since I started University, and a lot of it is down to stress about work, not being motivated to do work, and generally feeling lost.


I talked to the head of Environmental Science part one today and am now faced with a choice, which I will probably make at Christmas.

I can’t drop geography even if I wanted to; they have a three week period after the course starts where you can drop the subject and pick up another, that three week period has come and gone. To me, that’s not long enough to decide whether you want to continue with a subject or not, and I’m glad to hear that even though I have to suffer this rule, they’re going to change it in future years.

So, choice one: Stick with it, hope it gets better. Either way, I’ll have to sit through another 28 geography lectures in order to get through the year, and change course at year’s end.

Choice two: Drop out. Start again.

What a choice, huh?

I think I’m going to leave it till Christmas, then if Geography doesn’t get any better (I’ll be half way through my course by then), I’ll make a list of pros and cons of both, and figure something out. Either way, I know my family is behind me. And I feel you are too.

I know there are people out there reading this, just keeping you in the loop.




2 responses

2 12 2008
robyn smyth

well reading this becky you obviously enjoy writing and youve got the gutts to do what makes you hapy so well done…im not enjoying geog ether dosent help that i am very stupid/ lazy

good luck in the future xxxxxx

8 12 2008

Awwwww, you’re not stupid!!! Proof of that being that you got onto the Geography course at Lancaster. It is a hard course.

And thank you *hugs* I’ll have to see how it goes, but I’m determined to do well. xxxx

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